Things They Never Tell You About Pregnancy

As this pregnancy goes on I'm learning more and more about what pregnancy is really like. If you've been pregnant before, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Unless you had a smooth sailing pregnancy, to which I silently hate you for. Here are the horrible (sometimes embarrassing) things about pregnancy nobody ever told me. 

Please excuse horrible quality image above. Taken with my mom's iPhone. Boo.

N A U S E A | Thanks, kid. Although this one people are honest about, I didn't know that morning sickness didn't mean just morning sickness. It also means afternoon and night, sometimes just a week straight of pukey-ness. My little man hated fruit in my first trimester, and it's all I wanted. I have to say though, throwing up strawberries was probably the most pleasant of all.

C O N G E S T I O N | I literally thought I was sick for a month straight because I couldn't breathe out of my nose. And, it always happened when I would be in bed, ready to sleep. It was horrible. There was really no way around it either. I just had to suck it up, and deal with cotton mouth all night long. 

S W E A T I N G | That glow they tell you about? Yeah, no. That's just sweat. I don't know how many times my boss has caught me standing under the air conditioner just trying not to over heat and sweat through my clothes. Thank goodness he's understanding. I am not sure how women go through their last part of pregnancy during the heat of the summer, because I could barely stand. Even now, when it's upper 70's, I still have a hard time staying cool.

C O N S T I P A T I O N | Sorry to say this, but you'll be praying to poop. You'll be on day three no numero dos, begging your body to just let it go. (queue Frozen now...) It's painful to say the least. Especially because some anti-nausea pills and prenatal vitamins make it worse. To add to that, gas pains are the absolute worst. 

H I P - P A I N | I barely sleep at night now. I can't lay on either side for too long without being in major pain. Excruciating pain, I tell you. Luckily, my doctor told me that sleeping on my back is fine, just to sleep where I'm comfortable. But, since pregnancy is so glamorous and all, nothing stays comfortable for long which leads to getting a horrible nights sleep.

H E A R T - B U R N | Every evening around five o'clock, I'll get this lovely pain that feels as though I'm going to vomit acid right then and there. It's horrible. And, it happens every. single. day, ladies. It lasts until around 8 o'clock. One time, I had it for 12 hours straight. Just because I have really great luck too, nothing gets rid of it. Thanks a lot, tums. 

P E E I N G | All the time. I get up probably six times during the night to go. While I'm at work, I am trying to stay hydrated by drinking water all the time, which thus leads to even more bathroom breaks. It doesn't seem to help that little man loves to hug said bladder. 

S W E L L I N G | My job requires me to be on my feet the majority of the day. So, like 9 hours. By the end of the day, my feet are swollen, numb, but also simultaneously tingling. Like, that horrible tingling feeling after your foot falls asleep. YEAH. It sure is awesome. 

B A C K - P A I N | We recently went to my very first college football game, and we had to leave a little bit early because I was in so much pain sitting there. Especially because there was no back rests and they squeeze people into the stadium with barely any room to wiggle your toes. There is also a constant pain in my mid-back to where I can't even lay on my left side in the night because it makes the pain unbearable. 

L I G H T N I N G - C R O T C H | Never heard of this one? Yeah, me either. And, then it happened. In all it's painful glory. It literally feels exactly as it sounds, like you just got struck by lightning in the crotch. Don't worry, it's normal. Your baby is just using your poor inside lady bits as batting practice. 

S H O R T N E S S - O F - B R E A T H | A really cool thing about pregnancy is that your body is literally doing everything for two people. A really uncool thing? That your body is literally doing everything for two people. That means you're breathing for two, which also makes it especially hard when your babe is taking up some of where your lung space would be. I can't even tie my shoes anymore without feeling like I finished a marathon. (Also to thank for that is my belly.) 

So there you have it. I keep swearing to my husband our son will be an only child. Pregnancy, besides all the horrible things that make you feel helpless half the time, is a really neat thing though. Your body is making a little human. All those times you get to see their cute little selves on the ultrasounds, hear their heartbeat thundering away, and feeling and seeing those little kicks in your belly make it all worthwhile. 

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